I was socially awkward (not) my whole life!
Ugh, that was so awkward! Was I being stupid? What was that, dear God? These are some of the most frequently said lines whenever we have done something "not normal". Not normal is kind of a situation where we can feel a little bit off the line and thus behave socially awkward. But hey, who decides what is normal? Yes, think of that. That is your homework. Now talking about the elephant in the room, what exactly creates such situations? What I believe the reason is we are not present in the moment and are constantly hellbent to multitask, not only on a physical level but mental level too. Folks, why do we have to be off the hook every time? We need to live the moments and that is very necessary to make connections that are real for you as well as the other partner in the conversation. Also, don't gauze yourself with other's gaze, please. It's an appeal, I know how it feels to be in a judgement zone but you only live once and you need to set your mark. There is obviously not a Gennie in anyone's pocket in this world who would come and just disappear the problem right away, right? But I guess I can help you to deal with it better, especially because I have been there too! Also, I cannot promise you that you will never ever face any social awkwardness but yeah for starters you are good to go.
Everyone out there have had a socially awkward moment, but some of us are always feel like we end up creating trouble around others. I actually patted a friend of mine instead of shaking hands or saying good-bye to him, like seriously? Can you believe me? See, it felt awkward more than once or twice but there are still chances that I am not as socially incompetent as I seem to be. Constantly thinking about it can make it worse and you or I, might end up underestimating ourselves and our confidence level can hit the rock bottom.
Note that if you think that you are facing this problem on a daily basis and you are disrupted by this behavior and your everyday work is getting disturbed then you might consider seeing a therapist. They can understand you on a very personal level and help you accordingly.
Be You: Being basic, being you is the most exquisite perk that one can enjoy with their own personality, embrace it and say goodbye to all the talking tunas. Remember all the fashionistas and the matte products shouting out “BE YOU”, for their sake alone embrace yourself. If you want to put on a cherry blossom or a mauve or hot red lip color go with it. Own it and you will be more comfortable. you will have your confidence to get you even if you stumble at times.
Be in the Present: With all the pressure in the world, to beat this record to be that much successful we are never int the moment. Always thinking of the past or the future, but hold on a second. Where is your present? Right here. If you into a pub, be there, shake a leg, have martinis or orange juice if you want. People are more tolerant than we think! We need to be open to criticism. Just don't put off your light, that is not fair.
Listen: When one starts speaking, listen to them. What I did was get anxious of my situation there and blabber irrelevant things. When a conversation starts it goes both ways, listening and speaking. Don't just stand there waiting for your turn to say words rather you should pay attention to what the others are saying, understand them and then put forward what you have to say. This way, you will also feel a part of the group because you are actually participating with them.
Try to socialize more: We need to run towards the problem, (to face it obviously and) not run away from it. The key to get rid of social awkwardness is getting more social. Go out, shake hands with everyone you meet, break the ice, ask them simple questions or just sit together and be comfortable enough to not speak if you don't want to. But make your impression of what you want to do and just get swayed by other's plans. Your opinion matters and you need to express if you want to be socially apt and amiable. Participate in improvs, perform before a crowd or go on stage to sing out loud. Eliminate your social fear by participating in fun activities and be open to conversations and new friendships.
Talk to the mirror, not walls: This one is fun. It has helped me a lot to get myself visualize how can I look bold and sound beautiful when I talk. I stand in front of the mirror and imagine myself to be in a huge different situation. I practice and it has been great so far. Practice is the key to everything then why not this? Go on, start talking to the magical mirror and you will know the change.
It's okay to make mistakes: You don't have to be perfect to make everyone like you, remember we were not born to make everyone happy. Everyone out there is a human and genuine mistake happen every other day. So, there is no need to undermine your self-esteem over your mistakes. Learn from them and resurrect like a phoenix.
Be patient: Take one step at a time. Don't exhaust yourself by overthinking or overdoing it to be more precise. Be like a river's flow, be natural with your instincts. Trust yourself, you have not embarrassed anyone, you are like a sunflower. Bloom with opportunities but use your chances wisely to become a better version of yourself. You have to love what you hated in yourself, buy positive vibes only. Take a deep breath, or have sips of water. Ease yourself and you are good to go. Folks you are beautiful and confident. Be your own light.
Author : Pallavi Roy
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